Game Show Network

Recently we have begun religiously watching the Game Show Network. Unfortunately we are basically alone in doing this is so advertising there is quite cheap - and it is painfully evident. Not only is every commercial for an obscure untested medicine (though assuredly praised by the elderly) or for Fruit of the Loom underwear, but after sitting through a single half-hour block of programming you will have seen the same set of commercials at least three times.

However, one of the rarer commercials has captured our hearts:

Basically it is about some people who love Alpacas - But I'm not sure why this needs to be advertised because I'm usually too enthralled by their splendor for any auditory comprehension to occur. The website itself is worth a look as well.

The Game Show Network's afternoon lineup is generally consistent: an hour of Family Feud, a half hour of Chain Reaction followed by Lingo and then by Whammy. The Weakest Link and Who Wants to be a Millionaire are occasionally thrown in later in the day. I am sure you are familiar with most of these but some might be foreign:

Chain Reaction is a word game where you basically try to create two-word phrases from one word to another. It's actually pretty entertaining. In the final round two members of the winning team have to alternate saying one word each to ask a question to the third member. Today the answer to a question was "Al Gore" and one girl was trying to ask the question "Who was the president who ran against George Bush?" But her idiot teammate either forgot Bush's first name (or perhaps she really is a complete moron) and she wasted a few seconds before saying "John" instead of George.

Lingo is another word game where you basically have to guess 5-letter words. It's not particularly interesting - but the worst part of it is this stupid woman who incessantly vomits babble about the players and the host. Today there was this dumb couple who would kiss each other on the lips literally EVERY TIME they got a word correctly (which was often). And the camera crew was sure to catch it without fail. I may watch this channel for completely brainless entertainment but this isn't exactly what I had in mind.

Whammy is the worst game show of all time mostly because it is 100% based on luck, aside from the absurdly easy trivia questions thrown into the second round. They emphasize "pressing your luck" and still have the audacity to tell losers that they played well. The game revolves around pressing a button over and over and hoping you don't land on a Whammy, who, accompanied by horrendous CGI, steals all your money and prizes at once, making the game even more of a waste of time than it already was. To make matters worse the contestants are literally encouraged to be as irritating as possible; while spinning, they shout "BIG MONEY BIG MONEY NO WHAMMMMIESSS!!!". Females do this in their highest-pitched voices. The host then berates them (hypocritically) for being so annoying.

Today there was a Star Trek episode of The Weakest Link. William Shatner was unfortunately voted off very early on. The winner was definitely deserving - except he actually said that ten squared was five hundred. It's bizarre when someone knows literally every piece of obscure trivia but has no grasp on elementary mathematics.

I ate a fortune cookie today:

As awesome as this would be, trusting this cookie means expecting my dream to come true. Which, according to this cookie, cannot occur while I am expecting it. Therefore I must reject the fortune: my dream will come true when I am expecting it. But I will not expect it unless I trust the cookie. What a sad existence.

Needless to say, it is fun to pretend sometimes.